The saying "hell is other people" isn't the most optimistic perspective on humanity, but does it hold some truth? This thought often crosses my mind as I search for moments of peace amidst the bustle of Paris.
Just this morning, I sought refuge from the relentless August sun under the shade of a tree in one of my favorite parks. I chose a spot deliberately removed from the main footpaths, hoping to find a tranquil little corner where I could unwind and soak in the serenity. The area was spacious, offering plenty of room for others to find their own peaceful retreats, whether basking in the sun or nestled beneath a leafy canopy.
Yet, despite my efforts, a young man decided to plant himself right beside me and continue his mundane phone conversation at full volume. There was ample space for him to choose a different spot, but he remained oblivious to the fact that others might not wish to hear his private discussion.
I have yet to master the art of tuning out the noise of those around me to focus solely on my inner peace and so my little precious moment was smashed by his arrival and the subsequent arrival of his friend.
And so, in an instant, my quest for calm was shattered by this individual's disregard for those around him. It reminded me of an epitaph I once glimpsed at the famous Père Lachaise Cemetery: "En fin toute seule" — finally all alone and also how far we are from that when we live in a big city.
Solitude in the city feels almost like an oxymoron, yet it’s something I constantly seek. Moments of silence and stillness allow me to observe and marvel at the world we share, even if only fleetingly.
The origin of the phrase "hell is other people" can be traced back to French writer and philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre, who explored this concept in his play "No Exit."
In this play, strangers are condemned to spend eternity together in a room, with each person becoming a mirror that distorts and deepens their self-awareness.
While my struggle this afternoon was far from Sartre's existential torment, there's a thread of connection: despite our best efforts, we can never control the actions or intentions of others.
So, what can we do?
I've been learning not to take things personally—a task easier said than done. By detaching ourselves from the actions of others, we can better understand that everyone is navigating their own challenges and perceptions. For instance, a rude server’s behavior likely reflects their own life experiences rather than any fault of ours.
Also, it’s interesting how we tend to internalize negative experiences while often overlooking the positive ones.
Or perhaps that’s just my tendency?
And so, here ends my contemplative ramble for this Sunday.
Thank you for journeying through these reflections with me.
What are your thoughts on finding peace amidst the chaos of city life?
Don't be shy and share your thoughts below!